psychotherapy for bipolar

Graduated from UC Berkeley

Hi all,
In honor of graduating from UC Berkeley and being honored with the opportunity to perform “Senior Anthem” at my general commencement, I’ve released the downloadable track!

Best,
Kaila

Write Home Video Released

My friends Natasha Huey and Gabriel Cortez invited me to be a part of their awesome project, the Write Home which is shedding light on the issue of Youth Homelessness. Having personal experience with this, and working around the issue for the past 5 years with the non-profit, Ambassadors of Hope and Opportunity, they invited me to share my story. Check out the video. I’ve also released the song version of it on SoundCloud, also linked below.

Boy So Fly (Throwback)

Here’s another never before released online track from my mixtape “Practice” that I released via hardcopy in Feb of this year, 2013. It’s a trip listening back on my old stuff seeing how much my style has evolved

since then.

New (Old) Music

I’ve been putting my own art on hold while I’ve been getting my life together with school and organizing. As some of you may know, I’m now the President of the Students for Hip Hop Club at Cal (Check out our NEW website at wwww.studentsforhiphop.com) and there’s a lot of organizing to be done to really build up the hip hop community on campus. I’ve decided to release all of my old tracks and the tracks released in Feb from my mixtape “Practice.” This is the first time they will be digitally released so keep an eye out. I just added one today called “I’m Gonna Take”.

Kailove features on Vixen Noir’s hit single “Dangerous”

Womyn’s Herstory Month!

Last night I had an incredible opportunity to perform along side Aisha Fukushima, Natasha Huey, and Chhoti Maa! All these womyn are amazing and hold it down on the microphone. An incredible example of people having different styles but one vision. #Solidarity

IMG_0687

From left to right: Rebecca Lee, Kaila Love, Aisha Fukushima, Chhoti Maa

Unfortunately Natasha had to leave before we took this picture, so I’m going to have up my skills and photoshop her in later. In the meantime, you can check out this footage I caught of her performing one of my favorite poems, “Feminist”.



About the artists:

Natasha Huey is an incredible human being, womyn, and poet. She is the Co-Director of CalSLAM, Berkeley’s only spoken word organization. She welcomes you to be involved in CalSlam or if you just want to see more check out the facebook page or tumblr.

Aisha Fukushima is a Raptivist and Sistar who traveled the world after college to participate in a bunch of hip hop scenes WORLDwide! In her mission to promote consciousness and solidarity against injustice everywhere, she collaborated with 20 political hip hop artists. You can hear the album at her Bandcamp. Keep up with all the incredible work Aisha is doing at Raptivism.org

Vreni Michelini Castillo aka Chhoti Maa was born in the bellybutton of México in Guanajuato, Gto. She enjoyed her childhood between la calle del venado and the chaos of Tenochtitlan with NAFTA, los merolicas y el chupacabras. Since 1999 the brain drain took her family to Texas, Georgia and Virginia. In Richmond, Vreni began to teach, rap, organize and received a BFA from VCU. Afterwards, she moved to Peru to teach children and freestyle. Then left for Qatar where she had an artist’s residency. Vreni is currently getting an MFA from UC Berkeley while teaching in a elementary school and using word to bond. I was blessed to share the mic with her at this event and cannot wait to work with her more in the future! You can hear some tracks on her SoundCloud and then become a fan on her Facebook Fan Page!

Rebecca Lee is the president of the Students for Hip Hop Club at UC Berkeley. She is passionate about hip hop, pushing women’s voices from the margins to the mainstream, and dancing (which she is hella good at).

Here is some footage of me performing a piece I wrote just for this event. Shout out to Jasleen for recording it for me.

Today my heart is heavy

They say you don’t know where you’re going, until you know where you’ve been. Seems easy enough, if I been there, then I would remember, right? But somewhere along the lines of transitioning into womanhood, studying late hours in the night to pass a final, and trying to remain a stronghold for the ones that love me, there are times where I have in fact forgot where I’ve been. I only remember, when I look at others.

In the light of the CT elementry school tragedy…I remembered a place I’d been. It was in a classroom at my highschool, San Leandro High. Freshman year, the first few weeks of school. Geography class. Ms. Franke. I remember hearing a voice come over the PA system alerting that San Leandro High School was now on a lock down and to follow all lock down procedures. Ms. Franke looked both ways in the hallway to usher in any students that might have been lingering there before she proceeded to lock the doors. I don’t even remember how long we sat in that classroom for, at least an hour. Mostly, I remember the voice coming over the PA system, announcing something along the lines of “San Leandro High School Students, we are sorry to imform you that a shooting has occured near campus that has resulted in the death of 2 students. This concludes the lock down.”

You don’t just go back to studying geography after that. As details emerged throughout the day, we found out it was actually a murder-suicide. 14 year old Nayanci Gonzalez was walking to school when her 17 year old ex-boyfriend pulled up behind her, got out of the car, and without words, pumped shotgun rounds in her back. The he put the shotgun in his mouth and pulled the trigger as other high school and elementary school students walking to school watched. He was upset because she made it clear she no longer wanted to be with him.

Even though it was back in 2005, I still think of it. Two weeks ago, I had a dream where I was walking up to her memorial site, particularly a large candle on the ground. I can’t remember if it had her name specifically on it, but I just knew that it was for her. It was at the corner where she died.

Today my heart is heavy. Tears welled up in my eyes than were absorbed back inside. I suddenly remembered the fear and uncertainty of sitting in that classroom under a lock down drill. I can only imagine what it was like for those children who had to hear the screams over the PA system and the bang of the bullets getting closer, unable to comprehend the scale of the situation, but still knowing something was wrong. In both cases, there is no justice. There’s no trial. There’s no suspect to lock up. He’s dead. There’s nothing left to do but heal, but that is no easy task. And even if a sense of normality returns, there’s a scar that will always be present, a part that will always be broken.

R.I.P. to the babies. To the teachers. The principal. and to Nayanci.

Nayanci Gonalez

Digitally Disconnected

Haven’t been on Facebook for like 2 weeks. Fuck it, if anybody wants to know what’s up with me then they can find me here. I find it so difficult to check my Facebook sometimes and let’s not even get into Twitter. I just like talking to people so much more in real life or even on the phone. Plus, I’m way cooler in real life, these digital mediums can’t capture me.
Anybody ever feel like that?

School

My favorite coffee spot on campus, “The Coffee Spot” shut down last Friday. It didn’t seem real. That business has been there for 26 years, and suddenly their closing up shop after a weekend? Why?

Apparently, the lease was up on September 30th and could not be renewed because of an upcoming renovation to Lower Sproul that’s due April 2013. But at the same time, in the same building, Subway and the Bear’s Lair are still open. The front door of the Coffee Spot is open, but now lies an eyesore that only brings up a sad memory of what used to be.

The whole scenario just seems fishy. I really need to know why the lease could not be extended for 3 more months (until the end of the semester), which is all the owners of The Coffee Spot were asking for. It’s clear there is no immediate use of the building so why not give the business the benefit of stacking their money before a sudden end after 26 years and let the customers continue to enjoy having a healthy, quick, and low priced breakfast or lunch restaurant on campus. The Coffee Spot even bought and set up a flatscreen TV for the common dining area. All of that’s gone now and all that’s left of this once thriving business is a lifeless caged up counter with left behind bottles of vanilla syrup and empty coolers.

I think it’s some bullshit, but what do you think?

How I’m Feeling Today

FREESTYLE POEM

Today tastes of the tired that coffee can’t cure
Obscure.
My soul’s fatigued
and I’m intrigued because sometimes I believe
I must be invincible
but I am still human
still consuming ZZZ’s
I need
to breathe.
Physical limitations
come with frustration
Damn I thought I woke up in a 90 year old body when I stepped down on my ankles the this morning
I can’t stand the same routine if it gets boring so I must keep it swift
but something’s been stirring inside me and I don’t know what it is

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